Jul 26 2019

I lost to Halaster

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I lost a 9-pin tournament to Halaster in Last Call at the Yawning Portal during 1d4Con 2019 and I had to write a 1500 word journal of my time in service to Halaster (AND make it entertaining and keep it family friendly) to receive a full pardon and have the 366 downtime day (or one year and one day real time) requirement waived.

To the Servantkeepers of Undermountain,

Once, I was a soldier who fought wars both just and unjust as long as I was paid. Then, I lost a rediculous game to a mad mage. For one year and one day Halaster has made me serve his pleasure in the forsaken hole of his 'bowling lanes'. At first he thought it amusing to make me a 'pin boy' whose job it was to replace the wooden pins in order for him to knock them down over and over.

I did this without complaint. After all, I had agreed to his terms. But soon he accused me of making him lose enjoyment at his sport by being such a 'misery guts' and a 'sad sack' (whatever those are) and reassigned me to the tending of shoes. My father had been a cobbler and I took to this new task with a nostalgic feeling.

It was my daily duty to inspect the shoes and repair any small imperfections in the soles and laces. I would clean and polish them and Halaster seemed pleased with my performance. But, being mad, he could not resist tormenting me. Soon, larger and larger players were being summoned and I would be tasked with finding proper shoes for them to wear in the sensitive wooden alleyways of his bowling parlor.

Exotic creatures with three feet and bizarrely huge-footed creatures like cylops (I have never seen a creatures whose feet are so disproportionate to its legs) and ettin were brought to me for shoes. All of these creatures, of course, were unfamiliar with even the concept of shoes. So part of my task was to instruct them in how to wear these items on their feet and to properly tie them securely. My success varied.

These creatures were brutally hard on the shoes and they were rarely clean, whole or properly untied when returned. Ettin, in particular, can tie a knot in laces so tight it is easier to cut them and replace the laces rather than attempt to even attempt to untie them. And I say this as a wearer of a belt of Hill Giant Strength.

[As a side note, I did very much enjoy watching ettin bowl. They often throw two balls simultaneously in two lanes and their prodigious strength means they usually earn a strike. Halaster gave me many a dirty look for cheering their displays of prowess.]

My year of service is now complete and my old childhood skills of cobbling and leather-working at my father's bench have been well-exercised. I waged war in the alleyways of Hallaster's Dungeon and, if pressed, that is all the detail I will ever provide on this situation.

Elijah Roman Tabishku
(Commander in the Lord's Alliance)

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Apr 30 2019

Down for a bit.

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A recent MacOS update apparently upgraded the default Apache installation and pointed to new config files. That broke old W&B for everyone. We are back online now and while the content is as stale as ever, it is at least visible.

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